im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
