FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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