What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.