Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect