I understand Curling. That high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Damn victory sex feels great
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
