no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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