Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
