took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sober January is a disaster.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
