I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
