if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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