Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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