Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
