he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
