and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
