think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
