just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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