The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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