my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
