therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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