I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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