Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
