you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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