I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem