She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.