you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
