Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,

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  (661): Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi, http://tfl.nu/04ch
  Replies (35) Good night (1316) Bad night (2031) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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  (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1
  Replies (66) Good night (1304) Bad night (7034)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think we should see other people.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Already working on it.

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  (207): I think we should see other people. (1-207): Already working on it. http://tfl.nu/a8l6
  Replies (12) Good night (5807) Bad night (1472) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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  (913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m
  Replies (15) Good night (3609) Bad night (980)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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  (917): I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay http://tfl.nu/145k
  Replies (12) Good night (3998) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

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  (619): i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die http://tfl.nu/4ks9
  Replies (18) Good night (1095) Bad night (4748) Order T-Shirt
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  (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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  (+10): I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays http://tfl.nu/d92q
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (1598) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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  (619): Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating. http://tfl.nu/bhg3
  Replies (10) Good night (1097) Bad night (2725) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer

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  (817): If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer http://tfl.nu/rqqd
  Replies (24) Good night (2647) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

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  (404): You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control. http://tfl.nu/g1ps
  Replies (9) Good night (1582) Bad night (2373)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Let's drink?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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  (319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza
  Replies (5) Good night (1608) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.

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  (352): He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now. http://tfl.nu/h06b
  Replies (9) Good night (1958) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.

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  (765): I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals. http://tfl.nu/d4lh
  Replies (0) Good night (713) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise

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  (410): I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON (908): Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise http://tfl.nu/ujsf
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (216)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY

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  (204): HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY http://tfl.nu/xzgm
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

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