Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.