Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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