last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
