the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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