We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
