I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
