Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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