Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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