My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
