My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
