So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance