You work out of a Hotel?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
