the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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