he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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