I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
