Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
