Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
