I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
