The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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