I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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