Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
