No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
