I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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