yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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