My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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