Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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