what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
