he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize