I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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