explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
