somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
