i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
