My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
