The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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