Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
