The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
