He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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