what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
