Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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